Kailey Squier

Happiness Astray

The day I lost my happiness- 
April 11th, 2015.
Was always there, but eventually lost. 
The act of growing up tore that away.  
The life-changing accident, 
that caused my pain. 
My happiness will be missed.  

That one moment that changed my life. 
The act of growing up began when that car hit mine. 
The moment where the distraction of him changed my life. 
That 240-degree spin, blacking out, the ultimate head pain. 
The crushing metal sound that repeats in my mind, 
and the fear that crosses me every time I’m in a car. 

Years of pain from one single moment. 
Years of heartache from one bad mistake he made. 
Years of appointments, problems and struggles. 
Years of trying to find my happiness again. 

Today, I am stressed.   
An overly involved college student.
A shy and lonely woman. 
It will be remembered. 
Always there before, an aspect of me.   

The part of me that always smiled-- 
the part of me that always laughed. 
The positivity, the ease, 
the lack of responsibility. 
The lack of heartache and of pain. 
Always there before, an aspect of me. 

I will always miss its presence-- 
the carefree nature, the little problems.  
Time before anxiety and health issues.
Goodbye for now.  

About Kailey Squier

Kailey Squier is a third year UND undergraduate student, majoring in Rehabilitation Human Services, Pre-Occupational Therapy. She is applying to the OTD program at UND this semester. She loves writing, always has. It is something that has been an escape from the world, letting her explore and explain her thought processes and feelings to the world.