Abby Chiaramonte
Photos
We had both slept with other people, but that was not the secret. We had never spoken
of it, but
instinctively knew by the guilt in the eyes and the overzealous fucking following.
Our kisses were
pieces of a puzzle I'd done many times as a child, but now couldn't remember how
the pieces fit
together. The tongues were in the wrong places. It was safer to assume we were relatively
even, and
resume as normal. I loved him after all, and what's a little indiscretion between
lovers?
He said he was a photographer. When we met I believed him, I was impressed when he
talked about
aperture and angle. After eight months I thought he just liked to take pictures.
He was taking pictures
at the party that night, but that wasn't unusual. He took candid shots that were
remarkably unflattering.
"Unflattering" was my word choice- "honest" was his. I never did appreciate honesty.
We were at the New Year's Party. There were about sixty people there, and he was taking
pictures of
them. All of his friends liked to DJ. They made some strange genre of dub-step that
sounded like car
crashes. At first I thought it incredibly avant-garde. After a few shots of the acid
green sludge they
were serving, I felt like they were playing bumper cars with my eardrums. Someone
came up and hugged
me from behind.
"POLLY!" Natsumi said. Her eyes were all pupil.
"Hey- I didn't know you were coming!" I tried to turn, but she had yet to let go of my torso.
"Yeah- I'm here with Joe! Where's Lars?" She threw her arms in the air and gyrated against me.
I motioned vaguely around. "You know, taking pictures."
"Oh! Let's get him to take one of us." She grabbed two shots of sludge from the bar,
and handed
me one. "Cheers!" She continued dancing. I fell into the sway; alcohol made less
self-conscious.
I met eyes with Lars, who was standing on top of a speaker. His stork legs were perched
awkwardly,
so he could get a shot of our revelries from above. He looked like he was about to
take flight. I felt
like a skeet shooter.
"Lars! LARS! Take our picture!" Natsumi shouted.
The flash left orbs of light in my eyes.
They were beginning the countdown, and he hopped off the speaker and strode toward
me. I wanted
to stop him, to ask him why he called his pictures "photos," and why he preferred
to see people through
the camera lens rather than through his own eyes. I wanted to ask him if it was Natsumi.
But I didn't.
I knew the answers to all these questions already. I knew the answers wouldn't resolve
anything.
I don't remember the kiss at midnight. I remember going home with him, and rolling
around on the floor
while he edited his pictures. I pedaled my feet in the air wildly.
"Polly, look at this."
It was the picture of Natsumi and me: a girl with long dark hair with a euphoric grin,
and the other with
humid red curls and a face utterly devoid of emotion.
"You look beautiful."
About Abby Chiaramonte
Abby Chiaramonte is a B.F.A. fiction student at University of North Carolina Wilmington. In her spare time, she teaches yoga classes, makes sandwiches, and reads competitively. She is currently working on several short stories.